There was this time in my life where Fear really weighed me down. Gia was a couple of months shy of turning one and we were living in a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house on the corner of the street alone. I was so afraid of someone breaking into the house that I kept Gia in the bed with me, I kept my bedroom door closed and locked and I slept with a night light on. Some nights it would take me forever to go to sleep. Then one Sunday I went to a church that I had visited a couple of times and the man speaking spoke about fear.
During this service they asked for prayer request and I put my hand up and told them that I was a single mom and I lived alone and I was afraid. They encouraged me through scripture and song and even gave me their numbers to call should I be afraid and needed someone to check the house for me. BUT even then, that did not really help.
I had to deal with this issue at the root. I wasn’t sure when the seed of Fear had been planted in my heart, but it was there and it was thriving.
I kept hearing, “Mediate on God’s Word, ” “Trust God,” and “Pray.”
In the past, one way that I mediated on God’s Word was to write scriptures down on flash cards and keep them somewhere handy. So one night I printed out 2 Timothy 1:7 in banner style ( huge font with landscape orientation) and put it on my wall for me to see all the time.
God did not give us the Spirit of Fear, right? SO I asked God, ” God, if this is not from you then why do I have it?”
I have come to learn that sometimes we plant seeds in our hearts that we might not want otherwise. We allow thoughts to come into our minds and run rampant.
For me it was when my sister had visited me and when she left I was sad that I was going to be alone again. I don’t feel safe, I thought. This feeling of being unsafe took over my mind, and then my heart and then my life.
I had to remind myself every night when I laid down that God was with me. I had to stop myself from praying for safety and just trust God to keep me and my child safe. It took lots of mediating on scripture to chock that seed of Fear and to get it out of my life.
It was not easy but with the help of the Lord, it happened. I don’t remember exactly when, but it happened.
I encourage you to stop giving into those thoughts that go against what the Word of the Lord says. You have to know the Truth and to know the Truth you have to crack open your Bible from time to time.
Know that you are NEVER alone. Know that God is with you ALWAYS. Know that God promised to protect you. Know that you and your child WILL be alright.