Some time ago I published a devotional on Who I am in Christ? Check it out if you haven’t already OR if you’re like me, read it again cause you can’t remember what it was about.
Now you maybe wondering how I don’t remember what it says when I was the one that wrote it. Haha! Yea… no excuse other than, I’m a mom, I have a toddler, I work full time, I forgets.
However in it you will find some pretty encouraging words, that when I read over it for the second time really helped me out of this funk that I’ve been in since Sunday. And this “funk” may come as a surprise to you, but I have a confession to make… I am working through my insecurities and low self-esteem.
Over the weekend I had a chance to be alone for a little while and hear God’s voice. I had prayed and my questions were answered. I know right from wrong and most times it’s easier to do wrong. Like Paul in …. I asked God why?
Me: Why when I want to do right, I go left.?
God: When you are weak I am strong.
Me: God, I am weak?
* The light bulb comes on *
To the World, I’m not weak, but I am strong. I am strong because I work full time. I am strong because I go to school part time. I am strong because I spend time with my child. To the World I am strong, but they have no clue what’s going on in the inside and they don’t know that I am struggling internally. But God knows, he knows when the last I read my Bible was. He knows when the last time I spent more than 2 minutes in the car praying and talking to Him was. He knows my thoughts and my intentions. He sees me differently than I see me.
I see me a broken, scrunched up rose. I have yet to be in a healthy relationship so I don’t know what to look for when dating. I provide a generous and an unrecognized amount of support to those I love. I love food, but I want to loose weight. I don’t care for the way I look too much at all. I’m always longing for something better. To myself, I am not enough and to that God says, “You are weak.”
He says, “You would see yourself as I see you if only you spent a little more time with me.” He says, ” You are more than your past mistakes, even the ones you just made yesterday.” He says, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made, my child, you are beautiful.” He says, “You are more than enough because of him who lives inside of you.” He says, “You are loved.” And to that I say, “Thank you Jesus.”
Thank you Jesus for reminding of the devotional about who I am in Christ, that I wrote! He knew back then that I would need it for this present moment. In the devotional I wrote, “You ARE who GOD says you are! When you start believing in who God says you are, you will start acting like it. ” On the next page there are scriptures that answer the question of, “Who does God say I am?”
God says you are above and not beneath.
God says you are loved.
God says are his child.
So I rest in that. I rest in knowing that every negative thought that I have about myself is not true. I rest knowing that the Creator of the Heaven and of Earth thinks I am something good. I rest knowing that it is GOD who decides how much I am worth and to him I am worth dying for.
My worth is found in Christ alone.