#CSMGoesPurple | The Cycle of Abuse



Tension Building 

  • Tension builds
  • Abuser gets angry at any and everything
  • Little to no communication
  • The Abuser makes threats and insults
  • The Abuser becomes controlling
  • The Abuser becomes jealous
  • The Victim feels uneasy and a needs to watch their every move


  • Physical abuse – punching, slapping, kicking
  • Sexual abuse – rape, marital rape
  • Emotional abuse – putting victim down, silent treatment
  • Verbal abuse – name calling, yelling threats, swearing


  • Abuser apologizes for abuse and begs forgiveness or shows sadness
  • Abuser promises it will never happen again
  • Abuser blames victim for provoking the abuse or denies abuse occurred
  • Minimizes, denies or claims the abuse wasn’t as bad as victim claims


  • Abuse slows down or stops for a while
  • The Abuser acts like the abuse never happened and treats the victim with kindness
  • Promises made during time may be kept
  • Abuser may give gifts to victim
  • Victim believes or wants to believe the abuse is over or the abuser will change

As someone who has been through this. I can tell you that it doesn’t get better. The cycle doesn’t stop. The good won’t outweigh the bad and if possible the best way to get out, in my opinion, is to completely pack your stuff up and move, or move out without notice.

If you are a witness and you recognize a friend or loved one acting different around their partner, get them help, make it your business and see to it that they don’t stick around for the cycle to continue. Be patient with them and understand leaving their partner is not as east as you think.

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