Read this list with a sense of humor, as it is sure to make you laugh!
This list of rules is simply for kicks and laughs. Enjoy it!
Rule #1 – Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. He will then grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
Rule #2 When he picks up bad words, laugh. This will make him think he’s cute. It will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.
Rule #3 Never give him any religious training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him decide for himself. (Don’t be surprised if he decides to be “nothing.”)
Rule #4 Avoid using the word “wrong.” It might develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for shoplifting or stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
Rule #5 Pick up everything he leaves lying around — his books, shoe and clothing. DO everything for him so he will become experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
Rule #6 Let him read any printed matter he can lay his little hands on. Make sure the silverware and glasses are sterilized bt allow his little mind to feast on garbage.
Rule #7 Have plenty of knock-down, drag-out fights in the presence of you children. Then, after your are divorced, they will not be surprised.
Rule #8 Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own money. Why should HE have things as tough as YOUO had them?
Rule #9 Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See to it that every sensual desire is gratified. Childhood should be FUN! Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
Rule #10 Take his part against neighbors, playmates, friends, teachers and policemen. They’re all prejudiced against your child.
Rule #11 When he gets into real trouble apologize for yourself by saying, “I never could do a thing with him.”
Rule #12 Prepare for a life of grief. You are apt to have it.
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