About Being A Christian Single Mama
Here are a few questions and answers on what it’s like to be a Christian Single Mama.
Life B.G. (Before Gia)
Q: Growing up, prior to getting pregnant, what did you have in mind when you thought of having your own family one day.
My dream was to be 25 and married, with a baby on the way. Ha! I turned 27 in May, I had my child when I was 24, and though I’m dating, I”m still not certain that he is “The One.”
Q: Were you raised in a single parent home or did you have both parents raise you married or a little of both?
I was raised by my mom since I was 15 year olds. Before then, my mom and stepdad and biological dad raised me. Around 2005, my mom and stepdad got a divorce and my dad kind of disappeared around that the same time.
N.W.G. (Now With Gia)
Q: What do you and Gia do for fun?
Right now, Gia and I make memories for fun! I believe that weekends are for making memories and we do just that, make memories. However we spend a lot of time at the park, it’s free!
Q: What do you like the most about Gia?
I like everything about her! Right? Cause I’m her mama? Nope! I live everything about her because she’s generally a cool kid. She is so smart and always has a smile on her face. She’s very much like me and is a sensitive soul. She feels deeply.
I also like that she has really good boundaries. She means her yes and her no and she’s not afraid to correct you. Some parents would look at this type of behavior as disrespect, but not I. I look at as her saying what she wants. She’s 3 years old, I don’t think anything that she does right now is meant to hurt or disrespect anyone.
Q: What are some of Gia’s favorites?
Books! Gia loves to read books! For her birthday I requested that everyone send her book instead of a card. Cards go to waste, books last for ever! Not only does she love to read, but she loves to learn as well. She has a book where she can trace her shapes and letters and learn. She also like doing average kid type of things, like riding her bike, coloring, dancing, etc.
My Single Mama Issues
Q: As a single mom, what are you finding you struggle with the most?
Finances! It’s hard working full time and still just barely making ends meet.
Q: What fears do you have as a single mom?
Oh my gosh, I have so many fears! Most of my fears are about the people that will have contact with me and my child and our future. I worry about sexual predators and others that may abuse me or my child. And I fear that my child will feel like she is missing out on something by not having a dad in the home. Sometimes I am afraid that if I don’t get married she will be vulnerable to boys/men that have the wrong intentions for her.
I’m afraid of getting married and then getting a divorce years later. I’m afraid of my child being upset with me because of who the man her biological father is. He’s not around and doesn’t have plans to be. I’m afraid that my child will never know her brother’s and sister from her dad’s side of the family.
She has 10 plus and counting.. I’m afraid that my child will go through some of the things ( drugs, alcoholism, partying, fornication, abuse) that I went through that weren’t so great.
Q: What do you do with the raw emotions of being a single mom. Like the disappointment, frustration, worry about the daily things and future things, forgiveness, regret, letting go of what life could have been (that ideal family) etc.
It’s hard. I haven’t gotten a hold on some of these emotions. When I’m disappointed, I cry. Sometimes I yell when I’m frustrated or angry. And I try to pray when I am worried.
I try to practice forgiveness, it’s easy to forgive others, but it’s hard to forgive myself. Also, I try not to have any regrets because in that moment, good or bad, I have to realize that there was something then and there that I wanted.
Whether the outcome was good or bad, I know that it will all work out for my good. I used to be so good about letting things, now I find that much harder to do. Most of the time, I hang on things longer than I should. to fix this, I have actually gone through therapy.
My Single Mama Strength
Q: How do you juggle work, school, homelife, baby girl and your blog? Or what has helped you in managing your time as you juggle so much?
I try to make the best use of my time. I work 8 hours a day, then pick up Gia from daycare, then cook or heat up dinner. After that it’s either school work or blog time or play with Gia. It kind of all depends on what the day’s been like or what day it is.
Monday through Friday, I try to get school work done. I’m taking online classes so my due dates are usually Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. That means, I’m trying to do school work, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I try to have a blog post up as often as I can.
I usually write all my posts for the week over the weekend and schedule them out. I also plan my social media posts over the weekend and have a schedule for them as well. If I didn’t get a chance to complete my tasks for my blog, I find the time during the week. It’s a lot, but it’s been working for me.
Q: How has being a Christian single mom impacted your life?
Being a Christian Single Mama has had a huge impact on my life. While I fear so many things, I know and trust that God is my Protector. I know that he is a father to the fatherless and a husband to the husbandless, he is everything that I need and he is enough.
This takes so much worry and weight off of my shoulders. I know that because I believe in God and that because he has a started a good thing in me, that where I am today is not the end all be all for me.
By trusting that God is going to continue to do a good work in me and that what’s to come is going to be so much better. I have faith and hope and protection and provision because I am a Christian SIngle Mama.
Q: What do you like most about being a single mom?
I love that I don’t have to share my child with anyone. She’s all mine and I’m all hers. Right now, it’s about spending as much with each other as we can. I anticipate that as time goes on this may change, so I try to make the best of what we got right now, and that’s each other.
Q: Do you have any mentors or women currently helping you do life as a single mom? If so how have they supported you in your journey?
I do have a mentor and a bestfriend that are helping me in this journey.
When Gia was born, my mentor was one out of the three people that came to see me and Gia in the hospital. She’s been there encouraging and kind of guiding me from the very beginning. I met her in Florida and though I live in Texas now, I make a point to keep in touch with her.
She has supported me financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I can count on her to pray for me, as well as provide me with wisdom and insight. I look up to her so much!
My best friend. Just the other day we laughed about how we’ve been friends 6 years! She was a baby Christian at the time and since then, we’ve both grown in our love for CHrist and each other.
She’s my prayer warrior and has also supported me financially. More than anything, she supports me spiritually. Through prayer, and keeping me accountable to God’s word, she helps me out so much!
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