CSM Story | Being A Mom Means

BEING A MOM MEANS

Hey folks! My name is Ashley (@BeingAMomMeans on IG) and I have a 2 yo sassy little girl named Ky. How I became a single mom was out of poor choices. I had stupidly dealt with a guy who I knew didn’t want anything serious with me and loved someone else. So when I told him I was pregnant and he asked “What are you going to do?”, I figured I would be doing this alone.

When I was pregnant with Ky, I stayed in a way too expensive studio apartment for a teacher’s salary and had no car to get around–and if you know anything about NC, you know you need a car to get around. When Ky was born, my family traveled from NY to NC to babysit until they couldn’t miss work anymore. I didn’t know how I was going to get by because everything financially was stacking up already, and I didn’t even have a car or insurance yet! But by the grace of God and within the last couple of days of my brother being here, I found a childcare center that was somewhat affordable and near a bus line so I could still get to work on time.

So we woke up at 4:30/5 am, walked/ran 10mins to the bus station with a stroller, to get the center when their doors opened at 6:30 am, got Ky settled within 10mins, so I could catch my 645a bus to work. That was our routine for 6 way too long months. Occasionally, my coworkers would pick us up and drop us home, bus drivers who recognized us would pick us up along the way and let us ride for free, and some taxi drivers would give us a bit of a discount. We were extremely blessed to come across those kinds of people. And I recognized it. I recognized when God was present. He knew how much I was struggling, how prideful I was, how depressed I felt…motherhood wasn’t something I wanted to be a part of. Not yet. But I made the choice because I knew other options weren’t for me. I had been down those roads before. I remember praying to God to just give me a sign that I will be ok, that I could do this, show me I was capable. I had a rocky relationship with God and my faith already. And I wasn’t sure I would even be heard. But He heard and sent me sign after sign that confirmed WE got this.

At the beginning of the new year, a friend offered to help me out by letting Ky and I stay with her and her son. A week later I bought my first car. 6 months later, Ky met her “Other Person” (I don’t think he’s comfortable with being call dad/father yet) for the first time and he’s contributed in some form since. A month later, I found an apartment for Ky to have her own room.

All of this happened less than a year before I asked God for help and in return, I would give him all the glory, find a church home, and serve. We found our home and family in Fellowship Church (HEY Y’ALL!); one of Ky’s favorite places to be. There I serve in our children and youth ministries.

In no shape or form am I perfect now…to be honest, I am struggling. But writing my story, sharing it right now, has lifted my spirits again. It’s crazy how much I think I have to complain about. And then I’m reminded of this time; where I felt so alone and so broken…all I could think to do was turn to God. And He opened doors like never before! What a God I serve!

 

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